It was his perk that enabled this trip, he had not had a day off since the day before our wedding six years before, he had done everything asked of him the prior two years. Telling him to make himself at least usefull and take our luggage to checkin. He got out of the van and acted like this. Yas massas dis po house nigger gets rights to its. When yous alls returns from yous rest yous be all ready to beat dis man proper. He peels out two minutes latter leaving our luggage scattered in the road.
I was the matron of honor for the wedding in Rome and saw the couple off to Naples Most of the group including the brides father who was an area manager in my husbands plant sat down to a dinner in the inn we were staying. He knew that if my husband decided to bump somebody out of their vacation that summer there was nothing the company could do. But his father and him had a suggestion. To get my husband to wait until after the Christmas shutdown He could work through it making the triple time. And even use it to go on a vacation someplace nice like Hawaii.
The Caymans or the Bahamas Over our anniversary and his birthday. This was the vision I had on the flight back, It was promptly shot to pieces the ten minutes after landing, His mother and I had selected a pair of boots as a Peace offering and We arranged albums to show him Rome as we saw it.. We were going to talk about how to get things right now.
Go To some romantic Beach house or cabana and have a honey moon nearly six years after when it should have been. He had already looked into the places that we were going to suggest and found even the reservations had reservations in case somebody canceled. We started suggesting places to drive to even befotre leaving the airport parking lot that winter. He said feel; free to go her was not Ice scating across country for a vacation He was not considering any compromise to leaving on a westrern road trip that day.
I finally put my foot down and said he could not ruin the plans others had, We would figure something out and tell him when we would go. He left the Interstate heading to the Trailways terminal. He was holding what I swore to as a gun to every ones head. HE said since I did not want to be a wife I was being returned to my mother and he was filing for a divorce. I watched his brothers try and keep his father and him apart as we pulled out HE did not ever look at those albums or even look at the boots we bought for him They still sit in my Ceder chest, 30 years latter.
Alongside another try at peace in after the Divorce was denied, WE got him put in Jail the day before we were leaving for Bavaria and the Millinial celebrations, Just to keep him from defying the restraining order to make him work that year. WE just wanted to sweep the previous 15 years out with the old century and try for a new start. With any Discussion in fairness Start the New Year, and Century with everything from before forgiven and forgoton, He was 45 the day we flew in. We had him woke up in his suburban, and He had not even cleaned up after work the night before.
His mother and father had worse waiting A dollart cleanup of the outside of their house and a large antique wagon wheel set up in the front yard with Rawhide wrist straps A bull whip and a sign that told the community to come witness the uppity nigger get his whipen meaning him. His mother was taken to her sisters crying why does he hate everyone this bad, We were going to try and make peace this year with him After that everything was violent in him taking his rights.
To date 35 men have been badly hurt for any intimidation with weapons. IF interference in any form is tried somebody gets badly beaten. We4 kept trying to get him to take his time in mid winter, IN We stool his poassport and canceled his reservations on the Orient express to let a man with 2 years seniority to his 34 get his marriage off to a start my husband never allowed.
We got the entire amount for his cancelation by his father kicking in the ten Percent thinking the new arangments I was making for the second of January would be acceptable as a fair trade I was going to give him that check in seven months with reservations for both of us to st Criox for five weeks, the Island Honeymoon I wanted with him.
We had asked for an office in TSA and his union to send his steward and chaplin down to try and work through what was going to be a no about going back to work. HE grabbed my shoulder bagh and threw me across that office taking his check, All the money I was taking and ripped my boarding pas in half Then to get his passport back he Was strangling his father to death over a stupid vacation, My shoulder had to be put back in place.
HIs father was given O2, and his mother cancelled and had him take her home with him. That trip was now trashed. I was still hoping the ST Croix trip was viable to make even a littler peace. I went to county lockup for two months for acting as false agent with his father. Even though the check was considered restitution The way it was done was considered a breach of his civil rights, I saw him next on Labor day night. Hunched over and sweating at work, The young man we did this for had been terminated the day he came back.
And his stomach was hurting He had also lost a lot of weight in the last four months. I tried talking about ST Croix but just got silence in return. His father started to speak but was shut down with the words say one thing I dare you. He then went back to work. The next I heard of him was October 24th when the ER called telling me we better get to the main hospital campus where they were sending my husband. His other sister and I arrived in time to see the Doctors , nurses, PA, and staff all dressed in Containment suits. Wheel my sedated husband by on his front.
Ten hours latter his angry father shows up demanding to know why the guy he was going to go to a colts game with got called in to work in my husbands place. He was told to leave the hospital. An Hour latter the PA came out on a break, And said My husband probably was not going to make it His spinal cord was compromised. From a MRSA infection in his spine, She suggested we get with hospital services and arrange for a funeral home. He came out of that 21 hour long surgery without feeling from leg tops down, Lots of complications the next three years. When they bought him out of the induced coma two days latter he asked why he was kept alive why did they bother, Or was he just meant to suffer.
I started seeing an old Boyfriend that found me on face book expecting a husband home in a wheel chair. I did feel guilty about my husbands life pre MRSA. But I did not see what we did that was so wrong. Just seeing to the needs of others. MY husband trapped me the last time I was seeing the other man, He was handing me over with the guardianship. HE was walking after a fashion with the help of a cane he had carved and finished, Its an evil thing.
My boyfriend swept it laughing and asking how I had ended up with this looser. MY husband fractured his scull with it then tried to beat him to death. Two weeks later he was home on the worst evening. I had promised to go to a dinner event with his father, mother and his fathers best friend when the center sent him home. I ran square into his chest coming out of the bedroom just finishing getting ready.. I started crying before the first thing was said, I was telling him that his life was not meant to happen as it had.
HE blew up! Told me who in the hell did we think we were to allow him a dam thing, From that second he was the only judge and arbiter of what he was allowed under his roof, nobody had any thing to say about what he was allowed. I started to run for the door to try and get help to send him back to the center He was between me and the phones. He ripped my outfit off leaving me standing there nude and said go you can freeze my rear in what I deserved. I was not going to the dinner and keep any promise before I made good on the hundreds made and broken over thirty years, He took me to the floor and forced the sex I had not offered him.
Leaving me bleeding slightly and sore. I put a dressing gown on and sat on the bed edge crying. He met his fathers best friend at the door and told him he was not coming in unless he produced a badge and warrant. I was thinking. That I should call , Just take what he had coming to the people he had documentation of decades of abuse on me his father and many others in the community including photo documentation of how after they had used firearms to force him to work holidays.
Kike I said much was caused by his defiance, Most should not have happened. I should have chosen his side against the communities. He was the sole money supply in our household. I now cringe every time I want to do something, I have to go and almost on my knees beg for a small boon. Then I cant tell him he cant do it since he was not being invited. The last time that got his fathers neck broken in When he decided he was going on the Cruise to Cancun with me.
His father wanted him to come home and showed at our room drunk with a ball bat.
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It took a blocjk from my husbands cane and an uppercut from my husband hip to leave him with his head at a odd angle in the hall. I just sat crying why couldn't he just do as people want and not hurt them for his rights, Be so much better. Sheila, The first time I witnessed my husband, decide he was not going to be accosted was August the second He was asleep on his mat in his room when his father came in with four of his coworkers, they went into his room fully knowing he had another 54 days of sick leave and four weeks of vacation as well as 23 days of personal time before he was required to return to work.
His father and the other three wanted him back on the job six days after a hole was drilled from over his right eye to the center of his head six days before. I thought with the fight he put up against them they were right he did not need the time off to recover. One man lost his teeth wen a computer keyboard broke his teeth. I domt think any man coming out of that room with my husbands arms twisted behind him to take him to work was uninjured. The company had just finjshed building a new plant. Within 2 months my husband had decided to move jobs and shift going to the new plant.
He did not talk to me or any one else about it knowing we would ask him not to, Actualy it was closer to making legal arangment;s so we could get him to stay on his then job on second shift he had been on for 16 years. He was taking with three other ex military that despised the social order in the area four jobs considered by the community to be held for those that had social or political connections. The night before the list went up for the bids. I was begging and pleading with my husband to pull his bid and not cause trouble taking the position with his friends if he backed off they would to.
O offered an end to interfering with his vacation time wants , letting him have the holiday and weekends he wanted off, a promise to let him take two weeks through thanksgiving off. Go on a trip and start our sex life. He told me that he wanted me dead to let him out from under the guardianship the state had assigned. He would not pull his bod or forgive the last 20 years of no time off or sex.
The fight on our porch the next morning was very different than the post surgery fight. In his defiance he tore into those four men after the first swing using combat arts technics that he had learned in the isolated duties he had served in in the army. We had discovered he was proficient with both catana, shirecan and he held a 3rd dan black belt in sho rea. He never mentioned his training to any one before that morning. I watched as it took less than one minute after the first swing to put four men into critical care.
Then it came down to being force with firearms to keep what happened from being done again Thanksgiving day his father and three others appeared as they had every holiday since that horrible morning in Told him he was not going to get his way and stay for the holiday dinner or have the day off, he was working, He was proded by one mans 12 guag and my husband took terrible actions snatching his weapon and caving his face in with the but then chambered a round, and drew down on his father and the other two.
The sheriff was called by plant security and they talked him into working because the holiday was now a ruin. We got home after he did the net morning to find our dinner being shredded by dogs. Christmas eve was just as bad with pistols used instead. I told his father that evening I was tired of getting the brunt of his anger over things, after the orient express trip that I knew was going to be a bad scene.
He did not know we had canceled his reservations and taken his passport after he had put them in an old computer case and told me if I touched them he would let me go with both arms in a cast, he was tasking his fiver weeks of vacation as he saw fit starting with the express. We arranged for his money back and was getting him a different time in in January for five weeks in st Croix. We arranged a office with tsa to tell him his reservations were no longer valid that he mat as well go back and work and wait for a surprise in January We would give him his check at his work gate on Christmas day if he did not raise cane with everyone over the orient express.
He tried to murder me and his father over a stinking vacation. He threw me across the offixe dislocating my arm and it took seven men to keep him from killing his father getting his passport back, His revenge against the young man was getting other seniority worked up that they did not get the slot since my husband worked again was the young man was marched out of the plant by security the day he came back to keep the rank and file from wildcatting. I was crying when the sheriff cuffed and charged me and his father with acting as false agent.
I served two months in county after pleading no contest. On October 24th his mother recieved a call from both my husbands forman and the ER. He held every year of the three decades against me in particuler for not allowing sex until he cooperated willingly which was never. When he came home three years later I was getting out of an affair, He came home walking with a cane he carved relearning to use his hands.
He would not stand for being humiliated and he fractured my APs scull with the cane. He came home after the center with no intension of getting along with me his father or any one else, When I ran into him coming out of the bedroom I just started crying knowing he was angry before any thing was said.
I was begging him to meet me in four hours any where he wanted, his mother and father and any one else that he had a beef with. We could work out what could be allowed in baby steps. I owed 3 decades of broken promises to him, before I kept any to his fatherI was crying it was just four hours then everyone could air their grievances. He said we had stolen three decades of his life and he was taking it back.
That meant I was not going to a dinner on his fathers best friends arm, That he counted for more than my friends and any one else, And from that second on under his roof he was the final judge and arbiter in all things, that he was tired of blackmail with sex and the next person that held him with a weapon he might kill outright, and if I did nor submit after the hell we put him through he might decide I was worth less than a bugs life, I ran for the door and he shredded my outfit I was begging him that he was going to do something.
He did not give me any say about sex forcing it. My hands were bruised hitting him begging him to stop. I got up bleeding and hurt, thinking that somehow we had just lost any control. There is not any peace between my friends and my husband.
Hes all but destroyed the social hierarchy. That contrasct tha just looks at a persons hire date rules all. Everything works in my husbands favor now, three years ago I tired filing marital sexual misconduct with my son as the proof, the DA shoot me down saying we had abused my husband for decades, extorted his life and defrauded him. We had used intimidation that was illegal. I just got out of a year long affair with a single woman. She said she finally needed to move on and live her life. I on the other hand was devastated by this news even though I know it is best for her.
I never wanted to hold her back from living but I sure do miss the closeness and sex. She and everyone else tells me that true love would be patient and sensitive to those hang-ups. I say BS! I really want a divorce but have early teen kids. It drives a wedge and turns me into someone I am not. I hate how it makes me feel. I turn 51 in two weeks. No physical contact in 2 years and very little in 4. Not sure it is fixable. Saying divorce is easy, going thru the steps hard, but you have to really look at the you after it.
Will you be happier? People grow apart, control enters the equation. The vows work both ways. I dont want to be a cheater and i am considering a break up if discussions dont change it. Been married for 12 years, no sex since Very little touches. I invested in a good dildo. But I lack human touch. I feel your pain. Husband makes excuses but then will literally get jealous if another guy looks in my direction. I keep myself together. Tried fulfilling fantasies and introduced new things in the bedroom.
I just yearn to be touched…held and to feel desired. We have 2 kids but they pretty much take care of themselves. I enjoy being surrounded by the lively people. I wish he would just see whats happening and make the change. In , I found out that he was cheating with co-workers, escorts, etc. I confronted him and he promised to change, blah, blah, blah. All the women he cheated with are the complete opposite of me.
You sound like my husband in He said he had a right to go with me over the millinialls to Bavaria, We had to have him jailed on December to keep him from being in contempt of court about the court deciding the time he could have off and not the contract and the Seniority he had at work. I Came home on his birthday of January the 5th , we had been in touch with his foreman and his union president who were terrified to even approaching my husband about taking the time from His birthday the 5th OF January the day we were flying in From Germany to the 24th of January as the exchange for having him jailed to work out of a cell over the holidays.
It was the 19th years he worked the holidays since our wedding in He resented everyone else getting holidays off, vacation times of their choice by seniority, and the fact i kept promising a sex life for cooperation in the community and Had not allowed it since All because we tried to see to all needs and not just his. From December to October he did not take a day off as offered he wanted his way and to hell with what everyone else wanted.
Every time after he just ended up Hurting people trying to get what he wanted, He would turn down the canvas for the holiday and his father and his friends would show up with shotguns to force him through the gate at work starting in after the Day he took a new job he was not supposed to bid on in their opinion.. Everyone had forgot what training he had in two services. The army and navy in all honesty we did not know he held a 3rd dan black belt in sho rea, he had been trained in air born and air assault and nuclear weapons and their security on trident submarines so when somebody attacked him or use a weapon to intimidate him he considered only one option, deadly force had just been authorized.
I spent the After noon before he went to work On the 5th of November Promising the sex, The Vacations and holidays he wanted and to let him choose a position any place else on the next bid list that went up in two weeks then we might have a real married life The Next eight years was Armed intimidatrioion because nobody would face him other wise, Even that ended up with him remembering who held him at gun point then he would catch them in ambush and make sure they hurt very badly.
I Was told after giving his father his passports to put in a safe deposit until he agreed to take the times we decided he was taking, We were threatened if he did not get them back in after the trip to Scandinavia we would go to prison. My Husband arranged to out the Deacon in the most horrible way to his wife about his infedelities on Christmas morning , The Deacon Killed himself 2 years later. In We canceled his trip after not being able to put his passport in a safe deposit. HE threw me across a conference room yelling I had no right then he tried to murder his father over us stopping him having a day off since the offer was just wait more days and he would get his stinking vacation He did not have to hurt us because we stopped him again to let a younger couple have the two weeks for their honey moon He was so angry over that he had me and his father arraigned and jailed for two months for illegally acting as false agency in his name.
For everything we tried to do to get him to consider others people were hurt. That was the last day he clocked into work and he was retired on the day i was intending we fly out for ST Croix. For five weeks With complications he was in Rehab for three years relearning to use his hands, He Learned somehow to walk without nerve impulse in his legs. When he came home I was Really lonely expecting to live like lady chatterly.
He as always showed up at the worst instant three days early to catch me and my old boyfriend arriving home I had spent the Night with my friend in his room And When we got to my home I begged to take the argument off the street from my husband leaning on that tall cane of his. He allowed it wanting me to take my luggage and go with my married friend. He however Wanted my husband just to forget he ever saw him and leave things in our home as they were. He Sw3ept my husbands cane and called him a pathetic looser while laughing at him. That earned that cane flying across the room to fracture his scull then a terrible beating there after until the police arrived.
Two weeks latter again he came home at the worst possible time, I was just finishing getting ready to go to a Awards dinner with his parents and his fathers best friend, I walked out of the bedroom right into my husbands chest, And He had already decided the way the evening was going to go I was not walking out of the house unless it was on my husbands arm. He did not care what i had promised I was going to Be subservient to him that evening or he would kill me.
And that was to be sex. After he tore every stich off me he had his way with me I was 48 and wanting to have time to work things out after the last 31 years, He said he had given me every chance and there was no more left. I had a little boy at the end of I m only 29 years old and been married for 2 years. The first year I got pregnant after 2 months and my husband would have sex with me for months and months. Otherwise, once in a bluemoon he ll have selfish sex where literally in 30 seconds he ll b finish.
Super lonely, dunno what to do. Stuck in this miserable marriage cuz of my 14 months old baby sigh. You are young. Counseling and therapy is a waste of time and money. Search or ask around in anonymity on why he is behaving in such manner towards you.
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After gathering all these info, select the most likely cause and solutions you would be the most qualified to diagnose , device a strategy and work towards the solution. Be patient and work hard, smart and sexily. Being a man, I strongly believe, with the right tactics, your problems will be short lived.
Good luck. Be brave to do what you feel is best for yourself.
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Miracles never happen without effort. I took my girlfriend to paradise to propose to her. When I popped the questionon the second evening, she said yes, to my great joy! When I put the ring on her finger, it was paradise lost. Needless to say, it was a difficult and unpleasant rest of the week and the following four months that we lived together before our wedding night. But, at last, our vows were taken and our lives together could finally begin!
Too tired from the festivities, she said. Completely understandable. The honeymoon awaits! Understandable, but a sleepless night for me. The next day, a bit of sunburn. I lovingly tended to her, gently applying fresh cut and personally prepared aloe vera. The next day, after a frolicking glorious morning in the water, it was cabana time at last! It went on for some time, but I was incoherant within a few sentences.
I knew what this meant. I was devastated, horrified, anguished, heartbroken, and crushed. What had I done?
Who had I just married? Why would anyone do this to another person, especially someone they just professed such love for in front of all of their friends and family? It was the worst two weeks of my life amidst the most beautiful landscape imaginable. Out of shame. Instead, I pushed on through, foolishly hoping that the honeymoon would start when we got home. I considered annulment. But was too ashamed to admit it to family and friends. And what do you do with all those wedding gifts? I did mention I was a fool right up front!
Four months later our marriage was consummated. Nothing like before the engagement. Perfunctory even. I know that now. But an asexual person marrying someone with a sexual orientation whatever it may be? That is incredibly cruel. Words cannot describe the pain and suffering their victim endures. I stayed. Because I was foolish. Leave now. It only gets worse. Unfathomably worse,. Not when I closed on the first million dollar deal. Or ten M. Bought her a beachside villa and matching frac-jet to fly her there on demand so she could de-stress without the airport hassle.
I even stepped down and hired a CEO so I could coach the kids teams and spend lots of quality romantic time with her several romantic years, near zero sexual intimacy. To her friends I was perfect, but to the only woman that mattered to me I was a terribly flawed , if not actually rancid, worthless man. Or so it felt. Outwordly, all my efforts at self improvement were successful. Because of her lack of interest, my self image was heinously ugly, disgusting, and unlovable.
Because of her words, I felt like a total perv for even having sexual thoughts about my own wife. I was, and still am, desperately depressed. But please, i implore you, beg even, tell your partner. You are also not alone. Find another Ace of Hearts asexual romantic and live a loving wonderful life together. I felt your pain in every word you wrote and of all the others that commented. It is such a miserable existence. The pain is acute and the self doubt and self loathing is always looming. You feel as if your not enough. I struggle with evening feeling worthy of love.
If I try to compliment her, nothing happens. The last time she initiated without me complaining was probably a few years ago. At least until this point. This creates a problem for me. Jason, What a heartbreaking, thouroughly insightful post. It is cruel.
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He hides behind the stress of Work, family issues, finances, etc. And sadly, I believe you and I are in the same boat there. Except — did I read correctly that you have stayed and are going to stay? Reading these stories reminds me of how I am not alone, and yet, exceptionally alone in that I am at 7 years in a completely sexless marriage, and I mean really nothing during that time. It was good a few years before marriage, tailed-off some, then marriage to maybe once a month, and now two kids and a hysterectomy later we are roommates rearing a family.
My wife was was my girlfriend since childhood, fell in love with me even when I was not interested. When she realised I dint really want her to be my partner, she slowly seduced me everyday physically to get to me..
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After about 2 yrs of her trying and some. Intimate moments, I finally decided I would want to be her partner.. In fact I decided to marry her.. We got engaged, and I had to travel away for 6 months. In this six months she hardly showed any interest towards me.. I never felt that she even missed me.. I should have understood the situation but I was fool enough to think that it was just circumstances and that she is not very good at long distance relationships.
On the day of marriage I knew she was tired, so I dint make any physical moves on her. I waited for the honeymoon. Honeymoon just turned out to be A fun trip roaming around New places. No love, no sex from her side, except one pity dry humping session. I have tried to initiate sex with her for the last 2. I feel like she is not at all interested in me anymore. And being married to someone and not having sex even once since marriage for 2. It is affecting my entire personality and leaving me very passively aggressive, and also taking away any self confidence left. But it has now got me addicted to porn and masturbating.
Fantasize and stroke it at least 5X a week. This is not fun to think about, quite stressful in fact. This stress can kill! Jesus…if there was ever any question as to why it is stupid for a guy to get married these pathetic stories should erase those doubts. The sex is plentiful and amazing. You get Birthday Sex…. I am considered to be some over sexed pervert for expecting sex on my birthday. Twice a year… I know no amswers to resolve this problem. Of course the wife sees no issue with it.
Not planning on wasting much more of my life with the frigid woman! I am 61 years old and have been married for 33 years. My husband suffers from low self-esteem and e. He was a virgin when I married him at the age of He was an alcoholic who went to bars almost every night of the week, leaving me alone. He told me after 3 years of marriage that he will never touch me again and pushed me to the floor. I was only in my early 30s and still very much needed him sexually. I thought he would change his mind but never did even after 33 years. I am now 61 and looking back on my life I feel regret and resentment.
I am very depressed and am on depression meds because of this. All those wasted years without sex, affection or love. He never gave up his first love which is porn. Today when we go out places his eyes are all over 15 year old girls. It is a knife in my heart to know that his fantasy through our marriage has been for teens.
Dont waste your good years waiting for a spouse who has no intention of loving you. Please listen to me and leave today not tomorrow. It does not change. Liz, I am 37 and I married my husband when I was 20 and he was I first remember being turned down for sex nearly 10 years ago. The night it happened I woke up at 3 am , alone in bed. I walked to the living room and could see the light of our computer shining down on to me as I looked up the stairs into our homeroom. I slowly walked up stairs and saw him jacking off to girls dancing naked on a bar.
I think I dissolved into the stairs right then and there. I love to please a man that loves me. I want to be the body that he explores and desires. We have sex about once a month. We never have sex at nighttime. However, how do I leave. I have nothing. I left my career to grow his business with him that once we had our daughter he slowly pushed me further and further out of.
I am afraid if I were to leave, he would make it to where I would not have custody of my daughter. I got off and went to rehab and it was a mess. It was like he wanted me to be seen as a person with a problem. He was perfect and I was the crazy wife. I have been slandered by my husband to law enforcement and he had his mother call cps on only me claiming I would leave her home alone while I played shows on the weekends. That never happened, she lives 12 hours away and our daughter was always with my mother while my husband and I played my shows.
Not fully. I just want to love and to be loved. This world is hard so hard. We are all sinners… I want to be someones shelter from that outside pain and be able to run for cover to their arms when Im most in need. We all deserve that. Liz, I came across your post the other day. I was in a sexless marriage for 38 years! Plus, what you said about children not caring and eventually resenting you, that almost occurred on a daily basis throughout my marriage.
My ex-wife, now, finds peace, quiet, and tranquility, by taking care of our 35 year old meth-head, son. She and her mother gives him money an enabler , periodically, to buy his dope. Before her father died, which is about a year ago, she would let her father belittle me in front of our children and other family members. Also, I truly understand your feelings of resentment, and the lost years, of no sex! I wish there were some way I could contact you for further communication. However, I realize that this is not a dating site.
Take care, I hope you find contentment in your life! I made a compromise with him soon after marriage that I would consent to having relations every 29th February, to confirm that the act is not to my taste. I consider this to be a very good solution to what is, apparently, a rather common problem. I am shocked by some of the stories related on this website. Are the contributors not ashamed to admit their lack of self-discipline? Embarrassed to be so lacking in self-control? Even women! I strongly urge those of a weak constitution to show some restraint, and take comfort in the knowledge that the issue will, after some years of fortitude, subside — even my own husband is starting to show a reduction in his brutish tendencies recently, and if he can do it, anyone can.
My husband has ADHD and we have not had sex in 10 years. Not at all. I am devastated by this. He is addicted to porn and no longer has any interest in a real person. We have a child together The funny thing is that he completely minimizes this. I have approached him so many times with so much kindness, flirtiness, etc…. I felt like my options were to divorce, suffer or cheat. I cheated. He basically expected me to remain faithful while he jerked off to porn every day.
Anyway, I regret cheating not because I feel bad but because of all the complications it brought to my life. I wish I had just left. He has changed my life. I have to start over. I have to put my child through a divorce. I have suffered immeasurably emotionally. One day. One day soon I will get out. To be honest, I did think about cheating. But I never met a decent woman who was interested in a married man. So I waited. But my ex accused me of cheating anyway to anyone who would listen to her made up stories.
I think about cheating all the time too. My boyfriend only have sex with me once or twice a year. Is it ok to cheat and still be in a relationship with him? Everything is great, just sexless. I had the opposite problem! I had to beg for it! And what a fool I was!
Dominant, controlling woman is not that great in bed, and can ruin a good man! My wife told me that she cant stand me touching her, that was 2 years ago not long after coming back from a girlie holiday. Ive not touched her since nor had any sex. I was always suspicious of these girlie holidays so i didnt have any sex for 8 months before her holiday, and she never made any sexual advances towards me in that 8 months,, 2 weeks after she came back i found a pregnancy test kit in the recycle bin it was negative by the way. Yesterday I was going to leave with my son.
I was waiting on an airport van when my husband woke up I was going back to friends in the mid west. My husband came out and told my 3 year old to come to him which he did, he told him that mommie was leaving so say goodby and kiss her because she was not coming back. I was crying asking was he going to keep me from my child because I had an Illness.
I am by polar he listed off that was not the case, I was leaving him because I was an oath breaker that could not be trusted to stay on my meds or even take care of our son when I went into my manic phase. Yhe van arrived and I paid him for the trip and went back inside.
I just wanted my friends to not have to deal with my husband and his ideas that he has the rights that everyone else does. I felt that he was always trying to bring the local social structure to its knees It was not just because they had less seniority but they were also dealers in cocain and other drugs. A real pet hatred of his and I said it really was not his business what they did on that job he just needed to back off.
He left four very badly mauled men in front of our house the next morning and me with a broken ankle for locking him out of the house to hear those men out. His Father and Many felt my husband was not going to get away with his defiance to the agenda they had and started using harsher ways to keep him from what he was demanding It eventually earned him a nickname the retaliation and left grown men crying when they had to try and deal with him Christmas it was thought o0ur deacon came up with the perfect plan by claiming Religious need over my husbands refusal to work the down week My Husband Decided he was going to Ruin his life in response to making him work both the Ireland vacation and The holidays, I told him before the Ireland trip if he wanted to go he could have just taken our offer in He would have been rewarded with that time off and Even a sex life and holidays but he had to tell all of us to drop dead then try and cause us to do so.
My husband had cleaned the accounts out and changed the locks then had gone someplace we could not get to him His Union Minister got us in to see him the day after labor day and He had been told what i needed, He had it ready but hardly would talk three words to us. He left looking white. It was The union Skilled trades moral representative. Latter that Fall I was trying to get someone to get my husband to come home so we could all sit down as a family and decide what the holidays would bring since he was supposed to be home , The Union and Company had already said lesser seniority was working or they could look for another job.
I was planning for his participation in the thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and we had already started hearing of the problems other people had with working. Like the need for their children to have them home, their first holidays as a married couple I was asked if I remembered how it was My first Christmnas as a wife, It was the most lonely time in my life, My husband was feet under the surface Atlantic ocean.
I was at my mothers in Virginia. I Thought after my husbands return just a couple of years to let things shake out. They never did and everything went as i said from bad to worse with my husband listening to nothing or trying to do any thing that was agreeable to any one. After his Return From three years of rehab in there had been so many hateful things exchanged, from not signing him out of rehab for the holidays. HIs father for three years said It was just to much of an imposition to go get him and take him back He was the only one besides a nurse in the rehab, everyone else was with their families for thanksgiving and Christmas.
I was going To Isrieal in , his father started yelling he was not going to impose himself on any thing he had not been a part of in 40 in years. I ran for the nurses station when i saw how angry he instantly became withy that remark. I paid with the man i was with the night before He paid with nearly every bone above his chest methoidically broken, I was made to watch as my husband beat him to a pulp for the sweeping of his cane and then being laughed at and called pathetic. My husband I think took a lot of pleasure in nearly killing him and wished his father was there to do the same.
Nothing My husband does any more is a way to peace unless he gets his way. I met my husband while in high school, together for 25 years with 2 close to grown children. He is my soul mate, I would never want to leave him, we have so much together that brings us so much happiness and joy on a daily basis. But over the years, his sex drive has been going down, we have sex maybe times a month, he is just not interested at all. I have been very open and we talk about this a lot, cause I would like it times a week. I let him know that I feel so alone, rejected, and put on a shelf to collect dust and cobwebs.
I feel like divorce is not an option either, we have great joy in reminiscing over our lives, where we have been and what we have accomplished along the way and that brings us so much joy and happiness and enriches our lives and the lives of those around us, friends and family! Outside of sex, we grow as individuals and as a family unit just fine and make a great team in life progressing professionally. Our goals and dreams are aligned and we work our asses off to better our family daily! Knowing all of this, I feel like finding another married man on the side who is also in a sexless marriage might be the best option for discrete and safe sexual exploration so that I can feel fullfilled as a person!
In this scenario, my needs are met and fulfilled without having to pressure my husband for sex. The only downside would be if he found out and the ramifications of that! Also my loyalty would be tarnished, I would become a liar and a cheater, and I question if I could live with and deal with that myself! Calgon, take me away…lol Who would have thought that having great uninhibited sex could be so difficult of a task!! I know how you feel and long for all the same things you describe. It hurts to be in a 20 year deal and wondering if you should have checked out 10 years ago.
For me raising our kids has been the only reason to not divorce. The feeling of an unfulfilled desires really hurt , when you know that other people get it all the time. I hope to find resolution to mine someday. I have been married 25 years. We have been off and on for the past 6 yrs. I moved back in witth him 2 yrs ago. We sleep in a bed 2gether. Nothing…im53 he is 61…I find myself wondering just what the hell am I doing..
Do I want to stay in this marriage. I just want to be loved. And held. And well …. I need sex. Stephanie, I am in a similar situation. We have a great relationship otherwise and I keep weighing our friendship relationship versus our intimate relationship. Being tired, losing a job, seeing birth, feeling rejected when he was a stay at home dad 11 years ago. There is always an excuse. Any suggestions? No sex or demonstrative affection is grounds for divorce. It comes under the heading of abandonment. I am in a similar situation. My wife refuses sex every time.
I found out the official definition of a no-sex marriage is 2 or less times a year here. Stupidly I have stuck to my vows. Until recently , that is. It has caused me to attempt suicide twice unsuccessfully, had to have depression and anxiety counselling etc, etc. And I still have no self esteem, feel worthless and unattractive and at 62 I admit I am panicking. So, she went off abroad on a fantastic holiday with one of our daughters and I felt abandoned. I plucked up the courage, got bloody-minded and found a nice older sex worker and booked in for an hour.
Yes it was. No feelings of guilt, remorse, or regret. The unexpected thing was that I managed it and I felt wonderful. For three days there was no depression, I was smiling etc. All the things that are a dead giveaway when you have proper sex, Albeit without love. I booked in for STD testing and am now waiting for the final results.
You guessed it, no reason to worry as not the remotest chance of sex since she got back. I still love her and wish I could do all the things with her that I did in the hour with the sex worker. Interestingly I had ED problems with my wife anyway but with the sex worker I was rock-hard for an hour, and repeated. Should you cheat? Well, I went to a sex worker because I wanted to prove to myself I could still perform and wanted someone who knew what she was doing but no danger of starting a relationship. I think it was the start of me considering actual divorce.
My Marriage is both mentally and physically abusive with me being the victim. No pride in saying that, by the way. You think you know but only that will affirm it. Do you want to though, is another matter. Hope this helps! How do relationships that start out so beautifully and with such love, expectation, anticipation and goodwill sometimes, often, become so toxic?
In some cases this change happens not long into the relationship, while others take a considerable time. I am sure people entering into relationships do so believing that theirs will be different to all those other ones that fail. I can not believe any sensible person would embark on such a journey not caring if the partnership fails. So what goes wrong? One could be forgiven for believing that the percentage of marriages that survive till the death of one partner is quite small, I wonder what the figure actually is.
I am sure all would agree, sex in the early stages of a relationship, then marriage is bliss, there is nothing like it. Were this not the case then surely it would be a warning sign that trouble lies not far ahead. I think great emphasis is placed on the importance of hot passionate sex, we have the expectation that unless it is then there must be something wrong. If we slack off, the quality is likely to slide as well. I can laugh about it now. That was back in February I just turned 70 recently, my wife turns 66 this October. All through our married life we never fought, never argued, we did disagree from time to time, nothing serious.
We seemed to get along fine as a team. Without his hands, his chin hit the ground first. He was just lucky the floor was carpeted. Speak to her again, and I'll kick your kidneys out through your belly-button. Play your cards right and you'll probably get out of here alive, and with all your organs and appendages intact. I pushed him along, until his head was at the same height as one of the steps, and I used the handyman's best friend, duct tape, to wrap around his neck, at the bottom of one of the railings. He was going to be standing there, breathing carefully, until I decided otherwise.
When I turned to face John, I saw him lying there, watching my every move, and not moving an inch. He was glaring at me. I looked to see what Debbie was doing. She just stood to one side, shivering. I walked over to her, and gave her my bat. I told her softly to hit Dale with it if he said another word. I said it just loudly enough for him to hear. Debbie might have been frightened but she was no coward. She stood next to Dale, bat held awkwardly about halfway up the handle.
He looked at her, trying to stare her down, and I was overjoyed to see her jab him in the gut with the handle. I hate you. I guess there was some history there as well. He turned away and looked down. Good for her. I, on the other hand, wanted to deal with the fundamental problem that had brought us there. I'd expected more defiance, not capitulation so early in the campaign. You were going to try to get some of your cretin friends and cause some trouble, and I thought it better that you and I work this out before some of your friends got badly hurt.
She's yours. I wasn't going to do anything. I don't want you to think I'm a bad guy. I just have big emotions. I laugh easy, I love deeply, and sometimes I get pissed off. I don't lose my temper very often, maybe once a year or so. But when I do, even I don't like myself then. I was very angry. And I had the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I walked behind him and kicked him between the legs. I then waited a few minutes for him to stop grunting and heaving. Dale watched the scene in silence and obvious trepidation.
You don't know me, and I'm willing to make some allowances for that. But if you lie to me again, I'll feed you one of your own balls. Probably not. Even pissed, that would have been beyond what I could stomach. I'm sure I'd puke first. But he didn't have to know that. I was a very bad person. And I wanted him to believe that way down deep. He needed to be absolutely certain of that.
I leaned over and showed him the knife he'd left at my place earlier that day. I pushed him onto his back and placed the blade of the knife at his crotch. I then stuck the tip in and pushed, sliding the blade between his pants and skin. I felt a little tug, and figured I might have poked him with the tip a bit.
Oh well. I slipped the blade in to the hilt and pulled up and hard, cutting his jeans from balls to belt. He pissed himself. Pissing yourself in front of a lady. She said, "No," as I pull out of her and clutch my dick and climbed up her chest. The first stream hit her on the forehead. I pumped my dick again and the second hit her lips. The third, fourth and fifth hit her cheeks and rolled down to her neck.
She was covered in my cum and I loved it. She was mad as hell however. After I untied her she marched to the shower and got dressed without even talking to me. Soon it was time to leave so we drove to the wedding. April was still pissed and told me that she would get me back before the night was over. I apologised and went about my way for the rest of the day. After the wedding was over the reception was at a local bar so we went there. It was about by now and the drinks and the music started going. This was when April seen one of my old buddies. Ben was his name and he always wanted April.
She never would give into him because she was true to me. Some things never change and Ben started flirting with April right in front of me. I interrupted them and April said that she and Ben were going to dance. She then whispered into my ear "Payback is a bitch. They danced a couple of songs and I knew Ben was getting a treat. April's ass was only covered by the thin material of her dress and she was rubbing it all over his cock.
He occasionally reached down to grab her ass when he thought no one was looking. The bar had a downstairs area that was blocked off. I knew the owner so I went down there to use the pisser. When I came out of the pisser I heard voices downstairs and I wondered who it was because this bar had been closed. I was surprised to see April and Ben there talking. April was leaning on the pool table and Ben was standing in front of her.
I listened in and heard April say, "I've waited for this for awhile. She unbuckled Ben's pants and pulled out his rock hard cock. I could see it through the shadows and it was a medium sized cock, about 6. What was impressive was the size of his balls, they were huge. I knew he had about a quart in them awaiting her. April engulfed his dick with her cocksucking mouth. I froze. I could not move. Then I thought to myself, this must be my payback. She is going to fuck Ben right here, right now.